I was chatting with a donor before I drew his blood, and he was a dentist. when I actually drew him, there was just a little squirt of blood and it surprised him

I looked him in they eye and told him “you’re bleeding because you don’t floss”

and he went dead silent

The tables have been turned

(via lilguy520)



for every 50 notes this gets i’ll read a chapter of this book: 


What a horrible way to die.

(Source: yunishinoya, via a-shattered-visage)

  • Ollivander: Oh you need a wand? Try this one.
  • *shit explodes*
  • Ollivander: Shit
  • Ollivander: I don't fuckin know
  • Ollivander: Here try this it kinda killed your parents
  • Ollivander: Perf


when you and your friend see someone you hate

Milford Sound in New Zealand

(via afternoonsnoozebutton)


can you imagine in like 30 years people saying “i wish my life was like a 2010’s movie” omfg

(Source: snorlaxatives, via illuminatetheunknownn)